Ich möchte, German for “I would like,” flash fires in my ear buds seven times thanks to my handy-dandy Learn German app. The thought of me, unplugging my headphones and pressing a button on my phone to the nice apron-wearing barista behind the counter pops into my head. The right combination of buttons could translate my frothed desires into reality. But I do not want to be a weirdo tourist robot who talks via a phone. I decide to debut my “German for Beginners” up-to-lesson-five knowledge. Besides if I let my phone do the talking, it might try to get cheeky by ordering something for itself or by yelling out, “ausgezeichnet” which is a very long German word for “wow” like it did yesterday at a very quiet restaurant when I accidentally pressed the wrong button.
Success! Somehow my words, clear point to a sandwich, and my hand jive to symbolize decaffeinated worked! The barista is frothing me a latté and the sandwich I wanted is waiting for me on a little tray. My German must be improving!
What’s next? A heated political discussion, haggling down the price of a used car, perhaps the German people would like to hear a mini lecture on the Minnesota state bird, or maybe I could even order a cookie next time! The possibilities are endless!
A proud vielen dank (German for thank you very much) erupts from my mouth-so natural! I grasp my tray to go nestle in at one of the tables, just like a native. I looked down to relish over my language skills, I mean, I am practically a German prodigy: 100% comprehension with just five lessons of German, when I see the sandwich and the decaf latté that I ordered, plus this strange, additional, little cup of coffee, most likely caffeinated! Who ordered this? I guess I was not clear! Why would I order two coffees for myself? Just wait until I give Frau barista over there a piece of my five-lessons-of-German mind!
On second thought, maybe I need to wait until I get to lesson 10. What do you say smart phone, “Would you like eine Tasse Kaffee?”
Frozen Ocean Mom 